Creative DNA Reflection

Creative DNA is something I have been thinking about for a while, though not necessarily under that name. It is something that has come up a lot in my mind the last one or two years when I think about what I want to make and why I want to make it. Why do I want to make the decisions I want to make?

I think often times things come down to theme for me beneath the surface. When I'm coming up with an idea, I really want to find what the theme is at the center. I want it to have meaning. I want that meaning to be clear and I want that meaning to be good. I want it to be something that will benefit humanity.

I think this is because deep down I want to help people. But more importantly, I think I am worried about what my purpose in life is, or if I am accomplishing my purpose. Or if I need to be more efficient. Am I wasting my time? I think that having a theme and a resonant message to my story soothes this worry. If I am giving a clear message that will benefit humanity, I am not wasting my time. My artwork has merit. I think that is why this is such a big part of my creative DNA.

The other half of my DNA is the fact that I always want to be different. In Twyla Tharp's article she has a questionnaire that asks what the earliest creative thing you did was. All I could think of was in first grade raising my hand and asking a weird question. I don't remember what it was and I think that my teacher was happy about it because it was different and unique. I think I realized this as well. I made a connection early on. Or maybe that connection was already there and this was the first time it was brought to like. But I liked being different. I liked being unique.

My fear is that this desire to be unique is brought out to be better than everyone else. Which I don't really want but know deep down inside is true. I think to myself "if I create unique things, I'll stand out as different and seem better than everyone! Also, I'll prove that my way is best and I'm so much smarter for doing it in this unique and different way!"

Sure there are other reasons that I may choose to be unique. And those are often the ones I say openly when asked. Or that I use to justify my nasty desire. Things like "approaching ideas from new and unique ways can bring out new ideas to benefit society!" Or, "if an idea stands out as unique, it will reach more people and benefit them." This is also what I truly want to feel deep down. I want this to be my motivation for trying to be unique.

Unfortunately it is not. I don't know if it will ever be. But either way, this desire to be unique and different than the pack is a big part of my creative DNA. I think this is partially why I am drawn to directors like Edgar Wright and Wes Anderson. They seem so unique and quirky at the surface that they align with my creative DNA.